This is story from a friend of mine. Highlighting the issues of what its like living with a Chronic Condition.
My story so far…
The scariest thing about eating disorders are that you can be wasting away before everyone’s eyes but you will still see yourself as ‘fine.’ Your body’s organs can be decomposing by the second but you will say that you are ‘fine’ because you believe that you are invincible. You can be maintaining a low weight or losing weight and claim to be ‘fine’ because you ‘weren’t as sick as before,’ even though your body knows different. Your mind can be suffering, your brain can be disintegrating, and your thoughts can be holding you captive, but you will still believe that you are ‘fine’ because you will forget that there is an alternative. At what point do you stop making excuses for your eating disorder? At what point do you realize that you are not ‘fine?’ At what point do you see that you are allowing your one and only precious soul to slip away?
Preoccupation with weight and body image is just a side effect of an eating disorder, so don’t go on the weight. Just because one may look good on the outside doesn’t mean they aren’t still dangerously ill. Recovery is more than weight gain.
This last year has been a roller-coaster of emotions. I still have miles to go. But the one thing I’m proud of, is how far I have come. Sometimes just looking back at photos, I see how bad things got and I realise how much “healthier” I am now, this inspires me to keep going. I now have energy! My hair is growing thicker, my nails are healthier and my eyes are regaining the wide sparkle like before. I’m still not quite happy with my life and I still question everything I eat and drink, but this is all part of recovery. I have the energy to live my life and I can do the job I love. I’m determined to see my god daughters grow up into beautiful strong women and I’m determined to help my brother fight his cancer battle.